He'd Be Proud
by TolkienGeek1
Summary: While at lunch with some fellow dwarven girls, the subject of fathers is brought up, making Brynn think more about what she is missing with her father dead. Fili helps her see all that she has. One shot! Brynn is Fili and Kilis sister. :)
H **ey everybody! Back again. :) This one shot idea came from a reviewer, and it actually hurt my heart to think about, so of course I had to write it!**

 **For those of you who don't know, Brynn is Fili and Kilis little sister. I have a full story with her set on the quest and multiple one shots!**

 **This is for NarniaTolkienNerd; you're awesome! :)**

 **(Brynn is 17, Fili is 23)**

Brynn had few friends her age. It was just something that came with being a princess; she had responsibilities and not a lot of time. Not to mention it was hard to weed out the ones that liked her simply for being a princess.

So as she sat relatively quietly around the table filled with five other girls, she tried to figure out where they all fit. She had met one of them briefly, and was then invited to lunch with her and her friends. Four introductions later, they were all talking and laughing. Two of them definitely were in awe that she was eating with them; the other two acted normally, and the one that had invited her acted as though nothing was out of the ordinary, and that there was nothing out of sorts with a princess sitting with them. Anyway, Brynn didn't feel uncomfortable and that was all that really mattered to her. They all seemed nice enough, and she could see a couple of them being potential real friends.

"Dia, tell them the story about your father and that boy he caught eying you." Lyel, the girl that had invited Brynn, said, eating her salad.

Dia giggled and set down her fork. "I was walking down the road with my father, and I was wearing one of my best outfits, and this boy started practically drooling. He wouldn't stop staring! My father went right up to him and said 'if you don't find something else to look at, I'll gauge your eyes out so you can't look at all'. I nearly died! I mean normally I'd be a little miffed, but this boy looked no good I tell you, so it was alright."

The other girls burst into laughter and Brynn found herself smiling as well. It sounded like something her brothers or uncle would do.

"My father once threw - actually threw - a boy out of our shop for making a rude comment to me." Tapi said, taking a bite of her steak.

"And once he refused to sell to a man because he said he had beautiful daughters." Added Tipi, her twin.

"Oh, fathers are the best." Mora gushed, a smile on her face. "Mine once took me on a trip, just him and I. We had the best of times."

As the five girls started talking of their fathers and the trips they'd taken together, Brynn began to feel uncomfortable. She didn't have a father, so she really couldn't participate in this conversation. She didn't want to seem rude, but she didn't know what to say. She had always imagined Thorin as a type of father, but she didn't think the other girls would understand. She had always pushed away the feeling of loss that her dads absence had brought, but now it was resurfacing.

"What about you, Brynn?" Lyel asked, jolting Brynn from her thoughts. "Any good stories to tell of your father?"

Brynn cleared her throat, brushing hair from her face. How could these girls not know she was fatherless? "No, I don't. Um - my father died before I was born."

She could tell the other girls were now uncomfortable, and she chastised herself. For what, she didn't know. For not having a father? That was hardly her fault, but it was her problem that she had tossed on the table. It hadn't needed to be their problem as well.

"But my uncle, King Thorin, has been like a father to me." She quickly added, making sure to smile.

The other girls forced smiles as well. Silence still abounded.

"He stayed with us most of the time. He took care of us." Brynn continued, knowing she was sounding more and more awkward by the minute.

"But he's not really your father. I mean, he wasn't always there. Don't you wonder what it's like?" Tapi asked, before Tipi kicked her - rather obviously - under the table.

Brynns heart fell, but she forced her smile to stay up. "Of course. But wondering won't change what is real, and I must be thankful for what is."

"I could not imagine not having a father." Mora said. "I mean, not knowing what he's like. Him not knowing what you're like. Who's going to give you away when you get married?"

Brynn didn't like this. She didn't like it one bit. It wasn't something she thought about often, and obviously she was paying for it. She didn't know how to answer Mora.

"Mora, don't make her feel bad." Dia scolded.

Mora blushed, and Brynn shook her head. "Oh, no, you're not making me feel bad." Suddenly she was aware of what a good liar she was.

"Good!" Lyel said, obviously relieved. She flattened her hands on the table as she leaned over to talk to Dia. "Dia, it was so cute when your father was just about bursting with pride over your writing. I swear I've never seen him happier than when he's talking about you."

"Yes, but it's like that with all fathers, isn't it?" Mora asked.

Dia looked exasperated, and didn't respond to either of the girls. She sent an apologetic, worried look in Brynns direction, but Brynn looked away. She didn't want pity. She wanted these foolish girls to stop talking about their blasted fathers. But that wasn't fair. She was the minority, why should they stop talking about something just for her?

She put her napkin on the table and scooted her chair back. "It's been lovely talking and eating with you all, but unfortunately, I must go. I have trade agreements to settle."

With that she stood and left, leaving the girls to talk about her and her princessly duties and very exciting life.

Brynn didn't go to settle trade agreements. She had lied, and she didn't regret it. She had needed to get out of there, and she had no real excuse.

The girls questions and statements rung in her ears. She didn't know how to silence them. What would her father think of her if he were there? Who would give her away in marriage? Her father was missing. He wasn't there. Brynn didn't have him to take her on trips with just them, or to be happiest when talking of her, or to get defensive over his daughter. She didn't have him to tell her how much he loved her, or was proud of her. She didn't have him. And she wanted him.

Before she knew it she found herself sitting on the little private balcony that Thorin had shown her and her brothers. The entrance was behind a huge tapestry, and only the four of them had keys to unlock it. It looked out over the mountain and land below, and the sun set right in front of it. Right now the sun was still high in the sky, and fluffy clouds were floating across. Brynn looked out over the mountain rock. She liked to come here to think, but she didn't like what she had come to think about. Everything she was missing without having a father came to mind, and she slowly came round to facing the one big question that was haunting her.

Would he have liked her? Loved her? Would he have been proud of her and what she had become? Would he be happy that she was his daughter? She wouldn't know until she died, until she joined him in the halls of her forefathers. She didn't know if she could wait that long.

"There you are, Brynn." Fili said, closing the door to the balcony behind him.

Brynn hadn't heard him come up, and was slightly startled at his voice.

"Hello, brother. How'd you find me?" Brynn answered, immediately putting on a mask of happiness.

"Lucky guess, I suppose. I figured I'd look for you when you didn't come back."

"I figured I'd sit in this glorious sunshine for a little while."

"It is nice." Fili agreed, sitting next to his sister on the bench. "What were you thinking about?"

"Not much."

"Liar."

Brynn made a face. "Excuse me?"

"You were thinking about something, Bree."

"Why'd you bother asking if you already knew the answer?" She grumbled. She didn't want to tell Fili about her fears, and it annoyed her that he knew her so well he could see through her mask and tell she was bothered.

"I was hoping you'd be honest with me." Fili said.

Brynns frown melted. "Sorry, Fili."

"What's bothering you, sweetheart?"

"How do you know? How do you always know?" Brynn demanded, putting off the topic.

"Brothers intuition." Fili smiled when Brynn scoffed at that. "Or because I stood there for nearly five minutes and you never noticed. Now tell me what's wrong."

Brynn looked into Filis open blue eyes, and felt a lump rising to her throat in anticipation of the conversation about to be had. "I was having lunch with those girls."

Fili nodded. "Yes."

"And they started talking about their fathers and how amazing they are."

Filis eyes softened even more. He knew where this was headed.

Brynn kept going. "And I wouldn't normally mind, but then they asked me about my father and I told them I didn't have one. And they got so uncomfortable and they started asking questions and musing about what it would like to not have a father and I couldn't - I just didn't know what to say or do."

"I'm sorry, Brynn." Fili said. "I know that's hard."

"Fili, I don't know what he's like. I don't know what he sounded like. I don't know how he talked. I don't know how he acted. All I've got is stories!" A few tears slipped down her cheeks. "And then I realized that he doesn't know what I'm like either. And I can't help but wonder if he would love me; be proud of me."

Fili clucked his tongue and frowned at Brynn. "Brynn, I cannot believe you'd say such a thing."

Brynn huffed and wiped her face. "Getting mad about it isn't really going to help me right now."

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I'm just upset that you would have that on your mind. Of course he would love you. He does love you. And he can't wait for you to come meet him."

"Fili, you can't know that."

"I can too. I was six when he died, but I still have some memories of him. And he loved you with all his heart, even though he couldn't see you. He was so excited for you to be born. He knew you were going to be a girl; he knew you, just because he was your father. He loved you so much. That wouldn't stop. And as for being proud of you... Kili and I, and Uncle Thorin, and mama; we're all so proud of who you've become. You're smart, and kind, and strong. You're everything papa wanted to raise us to he. So if we're all proud of you, so is he. No doubt in my mind."

Brynn smiled at her big brother. "I guess that makes me feel a bit better."

"You may not have papa, Bree, but you have a lot of people who love you. And think about it; not everyone has an Uncle Thorin."

"In honesty I've always imagined him as my father." Brynn admitted.

"Me too. Not a replacement of papa - I'll never forget him - but just as that figure. He does a lot of things papa used to."

"But he's not really our father..." Brynn said, repeating what Tapi had said earlier. "That's what those girls said."

Fili thought about it. "Well I guess that's what makes it so great. He doesn't have to care for us and love us like his own, but he does."

Brynn smiled warmly. "That's very special isn't it?"

Fili put and arm around her shoulders and hugged her. "Very."

"Thanks for making me feel better, Fili."

"Of course." Fili replied. "That's what big brothers are here for."

Brynn smiled even wider and pecked him on the check before sitting back to look at the clouds.

Next time she saw Thorin, she remembered to hug him a little tighter.

 **Aaaand cut! I hope you guys liked it! Poor Brynn. That would be so hard. But at least she has Thorin! :)**

 **Let me know what you guys think by hitting that review button!**

 **And, if you have any ideas for a one shot, send it my way and I might write it! :) I love to get ideas.**


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